282 David Buss¶

What Do Women Want?

American psychologist

David Michael Buss is an American evolutionary psychologist at the University of Texas at Austin, researching human sex differences in mate selection. He is considered one of the founders of evolutionary psychology.

Source: Wikipedia

• Born: 1953 , Indianapolis, IN
• Parents: Arnold H. Buss
• Affiliation: University of Texas at Austin
• Research interests: Evolutionary Psychology, Personality, Social Psychology, and more
• Doctoral advisor: Kenneth H. Craik
• Doctoral students: David Schmitt, Bruce Ellis, Todd Shackelford, Diana Fleischman

The Main Arguments¶

• Evolutionary Psychology and Mate Selection: David Buss argues that human mating strategies are deeply rooted in evolutionary psychology. He suggests that the need for our ancestors to select fertile mates for gene survival has shaped modern mate preferences. This argument is significant as it provides a biological framework for understanding contemporary relationship dynamics, emphasizing that our choices are influenced by ancestral survival strategies.

• Gender Differences in Mate Preferences: Buss highlights the distinct priorities men and women have in mate selection. Women often prioritize traits such as kindness, intelligence, and resource acquisition, while men tend to focus on physical attractiveness and youth. This difference is attributed to evolutionary pressures, where women seek stability and resources, and men emphasize reproductive potential. This point underscores the biological basis for gendered preferences in romantic partners.

• Jealousy as an Adaptive Emotion: Buss discusses jealousy as an emotion that serves an adaptive purpose, alerting individuals to threats in valued relationships. He acknowledges that while jealousy can motivate positive actions, it can also lead to negative outcomes, such as violence. This complexity illustrates the dual nature of human emotions in romantic relationships and raises questions about how jealousy can be managed.

• Impact of Internet Dating: The conversation touches on the pros and cons of internet dating. Buss notes that while online platforms expand access to potential mates, they can also create an illusion of endless options, leading to decision paralysis. He argues that the overwhelming focus on physical appearance in dating apps can overshadow other important traits, which is particularly detrimental for those seeking long-term relationships.

• The Role of Love in Human Relationships: Buss posits that romantic love is an evolved emotion that acts as a commitment device, solidifying long-term pair bonds. He contrasts this with other forms of love, such as parental or platonic love, suggesting that romantic love is unique in its function and significance. This perspective invites a deeper exploration of how love influences human behavior and relationship dynamics.

Any Notable Quotes¶

• "Everything has to go through sex... our mating psychology has to be very rich and complex."

• This quote emphasizes the foundational role of mating in human evolution and psychology, highlighting the complexity of human relationships.

• "Women want a mate who's kind, understanding, intelligent, healthy, and shares my values."

• This encapsulates the multifaceted criteria women consider in mate selection, underscoring the complexity of their preferences.

• "Don't read beauty magazines; they will only make you feel ugly."

• A poignant reminder of the damaging effects of media on self-image, reflecting Buss's concerns about modern societal pressures.

• "Jealousy is a necessary emotion, but it is also a dangerous emotion."

• This statement highlights the dual nature of jealousy, acknowledging its role in relationships while recognizing its potential for harm.

• "We evolved to be a pair-bonded species."

• This quote emphasizes the evolutionary basis for long-term relationships, framing them as a natural human strategy.

Relevant Topics or Themes¶

• Evolutionary Psychology: The episode is steeped in evolutionary psychology principles, exploring how mating behaviors are shaped by ancestral survival strategies. Buss's insights provide a framework for understanding contemporary relationship dynamics, emphasizing the biological underpinnings of human behavior.

• Gender Differences in Mate Selection: The discussion highlights stark differences in what men and women prioritize in partners, revealing underlying evolutionary motivations. This theme connects to broader societal discussions about gender roles and expectations, illustrating how these preferences manifest in modern dating.

• Jealousy and Relationship Dynamics: Buss delves into the complexities of jealousy, discussing its adaptive nature and potential for harm. This theme is crucial for understanding the emotional landscape of romantic relationships and how jealousy can influence behavior.

• Cultural Influences on Beauty Standards: Buss critiques the impact of media and cultural narratives on self-perception, particularly for women. This theme resonates with ongoing conversations about body image, self-esteem, and the influence of social media, highlighting the societal pressures that shape individual self-worth.

• The Role of Love: The exploration of romantic love as an evolved emotion raises questions about its significance in human relationships. Buss discusses how love functions as a commitment device, solidifying pair bonds and influencing mate selection, which connects to broader discussions about the nature of love and its impact on human behavior.

• Internet Dating and Decision Paralysis: The conversation addresses the complexities of modern dating, particularly through online platforms. Buss discusses how the abundance of choices can lead to decision paralysis and how the focus on physical appearance can overshadow other important traits, reflecting broader societal shifts in relationship norms.

Overall, the episode provides a rich exploration of human mating strategies through the lens of evolutionary psychology, offering insights into the complexities of relationships and the impact of societal influences on individual self-perception. The discussion also highlights the dynamic interplay between human emotions, societal expectations, and the evolving landscape of relationships in the modern world.